Have I whined and complained lately? I don’t think so… I think I have a little leeway. So, bear with me.

I have been working on my autoimmune issues… like my Cookie post here, and my coping with the issues of eliminating things from my diet. It isn’t easy. Talking with Sara Ballantyne (aka The Paleo Mom) at the Beyond Bacon Release Party about the Autoimmune Protocol (AIP) made me feel better about the assurance that it may start to get a little easier as time progresses to somewhat let certain things go. But some eliminations are just painful.

I always thought that giving up coffee would kill me, simply kill me. Alas I have survived. It sucks when I see someone sipping a cup here or there or smell freshly roasted beans, but I can do fine without it. But there are other things that are much harder to keep away from because they are things that are usually so integrated in everything you eat on a regular basis. I have come to realize that tomatoes and peppers are a real problem for me. I tried to introduce them back into diet slowly and gradually, but things go haywire when I do. Because I love them so much, I haven’t been playing fair with my body and have been pushing myself to try to accept something that it may just not be ready for and heck, it may never be.

After a solid three months of AIP, I was feeling great, so many of my issues were reduced and I felt I was really on the road to recovery. Then I tried to push the peppers. I had an immediate reaction that at first was only dermatological, so i nixed them. That had been at about 8 weeks into AIP. So I thought I would give it some time and try again. I did and trying again, many my autoimmune like symptoms returned in gusto. I was back to waking 2-3 times a night (my adrenals a mess again), my skin started to break out in patches of eczema, my joints were horribly painful in my knees, back and fingers and the fatigue had returned. For two weeks I was feeling like crap and the only change had been a short spell with some peppers. So, it was time to really be honest with my body and say goodbye to peppers and allow them to join the ranks of wine, coffee and soy. (which also seem to have the same effect)

Last night after a long and beautiful day on the lake with the kids, we decided to stop by a seafood restaurant because we had been craving steamed shrimp, something about being on the lake does it to you. The big basket came, smell fantastic and the plates were pulled away, a steamy pile of peppery steamed shrimp. I have never done it before, but last night I literally cried about missing out on a food item because it was covered in seasonings that had lots of peppers in it. I actually left the table in the restaurant while everyone else ate what I could not because I just couldn’t bear to watch everyone else enjoy the meal. I felt so juvenile and silly, but I literally cried about it.

Healing is a long road and all those who really know me, know that I have been ill for a long time and lately, I have been healthier than I have been in years. I know its a process for healing and my body is already doing so much but sometimes it does hurt and grieving is ok… and maybe a little wining too. I wish healing happened faster, but I will stay on the steady road of recovery and know it will pay off…. in time.